Thursday, July 31, 2008
When does eating your boogers stop being a delicious treat sent by the nose fairy and start being the grossest thing ever this side of licking a cockroach?
I have talked to my girls about how boogers are the body's way of taking out the trash and we don't eat trash, we throw it away. They learned enough from this lecture to pick and sneak.
Yuck, yuck and triple yuck.
There must be some kind of switch that flips because I don't harbor the secret desire to try my nasal contents. Oh that I could throw that switch now!
Can I get an "eww"?
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Variations include asking me if I'm hoping for a boy or if my husband is hoping for a boy, since we have two girls.
What I say: "We were always planning on having three or more children" or "We love our girls and another girl would be great" or "We've always wanted both boys and girls so a boy or girl would be super."
What evil Smiller wants to say, but doesn't: "Yes, we were disappointed when the other ones weren't boys. We'll get an ultrasound with this one and, if it is another girl, go ahead and have an abortion."
Seriously, does everyone in the whole world (besides you, dear reader) think that the only reason to stray past the two child barrier is for gender reasons? And would I be getting this much concern the other way--if I had two boys and no girls?
I know, I know. I'm sure it is just something to say, well-meaning people, blah blah blah. It doesn't get them thrown off my Christmas card list, just earns them an internal eyebrow raise from me.
By the way, this replaces my last least favorite question which was "Is she a good baby?" I ended up always answering that one with, "Well, she hasn't robbed a Circle K yet so we think there is hope." Yes, there is a snarky streak in me, I confess. :D
Saturday, July 5, 2008
For those of you who live in a complete state of health and serenity, I'll explain. Once upon a time, not that long ago, I lived in Practical Land. This land was a place where if there was a problem, I fixed it (there may have been other inhabitants but I never met any). I got kudos for being level-headed, smart, a good do-er. I was the go-to girl in a crisis.
But, alas, there was a foe. Occasionally pesky emotions would creep in, threatening all stability. How was I supposed to solve a problem if I was stuck feeling about it? And, of course, while not all emotions were bad, they were inconvenient and sometimes downright yucky.
Thus, the box. The box lived waaaay down somewhere in me and that's where all the emotions went after a brief acknowledgement. Oops, feeling sad, put sad in box, back in control again. I even got so good at it that I could put the emotions in there without even thinking about it.
But, so I've since learned, apparently emotions are meant to be felt and when you put one in the box, you put them all in. So, suddenly, out of nowhere, I was depressed. Life was grey--no good, no bad. So I started some counseling (probably trying to figure out how to control which emotions got shoved away) and then my life fell apart. Yup, crisises (multiple) of epic proportions. And, dang it if I couldn't put all those things into the box! I had no control. I got to shake hands with all the emotions and look them in the eye for the first time. In case you were wondering, it sucked. But I lived.
So, fast forward 7 years and I don't live in Practical Land anymore. I am less of a control-freak, less of a nag, less anxious, a nicer wife. I have a pretty good balance of practical and emotion. I can feel my feelings...most of the time. But the other day...
The other day I was sad. Really. Really. Sad. I was going to bed sad with no resolution so I decided, "This is a job for the box." I'd cried and now I was ready for sleep. Open the box, put the sadness in there, close lid, go to sleep. Nice. I even tied the bow on it that I was sure it was just a pregnancy thing and I'd be fine in the morning.
At 5:30 in the morning, THE STUPID LID CAME OFF! Just busted right off and here I was, sad and tired. So unfair. Really, what is the point of having an unhealthy coping mechanism if you can't pull it out once in a while?!? So, I cried more stupid tears, and felt my stupid sadness and sat with it (stupid, stupid, stupid). And now, two days later, I feel a little better. I'm sure this is healthier, but it is so much harder on the short term. Yeah, yeah I'm happier in the long run. Whatever.
Anyone have the number for a good box repair man?
p.s. There may be some of you going "What was so bad about Practical Land? That sounded really nice." I will be happy to hug you without condemnation when your life too falls apart. :D
1. What did you do 10 years ago?
Hmm...10 years ago I had just celebrated my first wedding anniversary. I worked in the Residence Life Department of the nearby University. Sometime during that summer the hubby and I drove to St. Louis to visit his sister and her new husband. We read Stephen Ambrose's book about Lewis and Clark on the way. We also took a side trip up to Chicago to see my grandma (so she could meet my husband). Footloose and fancy-free.
2. Five items on your to-do list today:
Sleep in as hubby gets up with kids (check).....Have lunch with the in-laws (check).....Tackle the pile of dishes in the sink (where, oh where do they come from?).....Mow the lawn and the grass in the ally to get the City of Phoenix off our backs....Write on blog
3. Snacks I enjoy:
Hmm...I like a nice piece of cheddar....chocolate chip cookie....Otter Pop....spoonful of crunchy peanut butter (ingredients: peanuts, salt--that's it)....cold watermelon....chips and yummy salsa....most anything chocolate
4. What would you do if you were a billionaire?
Hire a house cleaner....adopt children from Africa and China...add the addition to the house so I can move the washing machine out of my kitchen....give a lot away for causes I believe in....not tell anyone including the kids....get the Range Rover restored for the hubby....fly to visit the friends I miss...pay off the mortgages of all the people I know....buy a summer home someplace cool and go there a lot in June through September....invest money in micro-enterprises to help the poor