Sunday, February 1, 2009

Am I Being too Sensitive?

So, a lot has happened that I haven't blogged about...namely the birth of our son.

But instead of doing that, I'm going to rant about the vacuum.

I have a pretty nice vacuum. A year ago, Christmas, my in-laws bought me a Kenmore Progressive dust suckin' machine. (Yes, I asked for a vacuum for Christmas.) It slices, it dices, it has more bells and whistles on it than I would have ever bought for myself.

But there is one "perk" on it I hate...the nag lights aka "dirt sensors". These lights are on the top of the body of the machine. There are three of them and they turn yellow with the amount of dirt I am vacuuming. Here is the official interpretation:

No lights: NOW it is clean, you may proceed to the next area guilt free
One light: Oops, you missed a spot
Two lights: Have we been a bit neglectful of our carpets lately?
Three lights: Holy sandboxes! You know this isn't for outdoor use, right?

I just vacuumed. Guess who's carpet is three light yellow? Everywhere. Even after letting the vacuum run on the spot for 10 seconds.

I found myself having a conversation with the vacuum. "Look," I said, "I just had a baby 9 days ago, I'm not even supposed to be vacuuming yet except that Kevin cleaned up the toys so I figured I'd finish the job. [waiting for lights to go off] I mean, c'mon, we have 6--count them 6--indoor cats and two preschoolers who like to play in the dirt. [Still waiting]. How about just moving from three to two so I feel like I've accomplished something? [Nada] Fine. I'm moving to the next area and assuming the lights are malfunctioning. Take that."

And I did. The carpet looks better but I know that it is still three-light dirty. Kind of like how everyone has at least one pair of underwear right now but there is a pile of dirty laundry. Or how we've been eating off paper plates but we have to wash glasses as we use them. Or how my children (all three) are safe and fed but perhaps all a bit neglected at the moment.

Kevin quoted the Hobbit this morning about feeling like too little butter spread across too much bread. Yeah, I get that. Hopefully, add a week postpartum and the butter will feel a bit more and the bread a bit less.


Skerrib said...

Too little butter spread across too much bread--I like that a lot.

Don't listen to your vacuum--it's a Kirby salesman in disguise. The Kirby guys invaded my house a few weeks ago with their fancy filter-indicator-thingy that never stopped trapping more dirt during the entire demo. Two thousand dollars my eye.

Fed and clothed is good. Underwear is fantastic. You're doing great.

Karen Reyburn said...

LOL - I laughed fit to kill on reading this. I would do exactly the same. I am absolutely confident that a man developed this product. It's obviously all about competition, and he has no clue of the level of guilt we women can feel, even from three little lights on a hoover. (Or vacuum cleaner, if you're American ;) )

Suzanne said...

That would totally annoy me too, Syl. And you DO need to cut yourself a break - you've just done a miraculous thing, and who cares if someone can't eat off your floor!?
I just threw out all our carpet and opted for wood laminate floors ... I thought they'd be easier to keep clean. They're not.